Month: June 2010

The Pope is Pregnant!

 

We do indeed need to show joy as Catholics.  

“Be happily and uncomplicatedly Catholic.” Michael J. Sheehan Archbishop of Santa Fe

 

The Pope is Pregnant!

 

Think of the explosive effect this story would make on the media throughout the world.  It could report that, sixty days ago, while praying in his private chapel, Pope Benedict XVI was impregnated by a spiritual power and a new human life was conceived in his abdomen.  The papal staff is now busy designing maternity robes for the Pope and arranging seven months from today for a caesarean operation to be performed in the Vatican Clinic. After her birth, the infant will be cared for by the Sisters of Charity until her adoption by a carefully selected married couple.

          During his pregnancy, the Pope would experience, rather than sense, the valuable role women perform in the being of mankind.  The following year he would summon a Council to revise Humanae Vitae so that laypeople have an active rather than passive role in effectively preventing unnecessary births.  His next action would be to approve of the Church having women deacons.

His successor, “Pope (?), the Joyful”, would preside over a Golden Era for the Church with both married and female priests during an epidemic expansion of Catholicism throughout the world

Returning to the news story, it would end with a statement from Pope Benedict during his retreat at Castel Gandolfo, where he is having difficulty with morning sickness. He said, “As I am merely a servant of the Lord, without question I accept what has happened to be His Will.”

And what are your thoughts about this supposed story? joyfulcatholic@comcast.com

Other recommended Catholic blogs

 Catholicbygrace

ignis adens

Just another Catholic mom.

Recommended Readings

 “What did Jesus do?” article by Adam Gopnik in the May 24 New Yorker.  

In her New York Times interview with Christopher Hitchens, reporter Deborah Solomon did an excellent job of having him confirm he is an atheistic cipher.

 Life Lessons from the Monastery, book written by Jerome Kodell, O.S.B.

 Quiz

Last week, the winner of the autographed gift copy of Light Reading for Good and Wayward Catholics,  Sam Ellison in Phoenix, AZ, with a close second by Art Zoleta in Norwalk, CA.

1.     The College of Cardinals are responsible for electing the new Pope

2.     The period of the Crusades was 1095-1291.

3.     St. Thomas Aquinas wrote, “All the efforts of the human mind cannot exhaust the essence of a single fly.”

Here is this week’s quiz.  Who will be the book winner? Send you answers to joyfulcatholic@comcast.net.

    1 Who were the sons of Jebedee, and what did Jesus nickname them?

2 What is the maximum number of Cardinals Electors permitted to elect a Pope?

      

3 Who is the patron saint of farmers?   

News flashes

Phoenix Bishop Thomas Olmsted has proved that Pogo* was right. First, Olmsted enjoyed getting national publicity by blasting Notre Dame for honoring the President. He spent money to produce anti-gay marriage videos for homilies. Next, he has merited vast lack of respect for his calloused attitude towards the Hispanic Catholics in Arizona.

Now he has excommunicated Sister Margaret McBride (known as the “Mother Teresa” of Phoenix) because she agreed to an abortion in order to save the life of a 27-year-old mother of four. What do you think Jesus would have done?And what would you have done? (joyfulcatholic@comcast.net.)

          As this stupid man deserves our prayers that he will do no more damage to the Church, I am adding him to our Special Intentions List.

(*the cartoon figure who said, “We have found the enemy, and he is us.”)

What are your thoughts about this Church leader? joyfulcatholic@comcast.net

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We do indeed need to show joy as Catholics!

We do indeed need to show joy as Catholics.

 “Be happily and uncomplicatedly Catholic.”

Michael J. Sheehan Archbishop of Santa Fe

My favorite priest, layperson, breathing saint or organization.

 Sister Carol Keehan, DC, RN, MS, is a very special Catholic. I first met her many years ago when I was a volunteer at Providence Hospital in Washington, DC, and she was president of the hospital. Those were tough economic times and Providence had to care for the vast majority of the poor in the Nation’s Capital. She made the statement and stuck to it that “No one will be refused the best of medical care.” She worked tirelessly to achieve this goal, and she was loved and respected by all the employees and patients. Today, Sister Carol in the ninth president and CEO of our Catholic Health Association. How fortunate we are to have her serving us in this important role. Sister Carol, you are a perfect Joyful Catholic!

(Now, tell me about your favorite Catholic priest, layperson or organization that is making a difference joyfulcatholic@comcast.net)

Interesting sayings

 Sing joyfully to the Lord, all you lands; serve the Lord with gladness; come before him with gladness. Psalm 101

We should not scrutinize ourselves too closely but try to live simply, bravely, and joyously beneath the gaze of God and for him.Elizabeth Leseur A French laywoman who died in1914 and is being considered for canonization.

 It was a joy for Christ to share his word with the people of his time, just as it is a joy for him to do so with us. We hear his word through the Scriptures and through his Spirit that speaks to our hearts. Jesus’ love prompts him to share his values with us, and if we make them a part of our lives, we begin to resemble the mind and hear of Jesus. What a cause for joy! Fr. Ken Grabner, a Holy Cross priest and chaplain at Holy Cross Village at Notre Dame.

Although always prepared for martyrdom, I prefer it should be postponed. Winston Churchill

Communiques

Thanks you for honored me in your Joyful Catholic blog. It’s vital to discuss the issues that are important to us. Together, we can build a more prosperous and peaceful world. Bill Clinton

I find that becoming a smile collector has a boomerang effect on my life. It has made me more appreciative of others. It’s a healthy sport! Maurice Goodson

 Congratulations upon having recognized Sister Carol Keehan for her splendid contribution for our Catholic health service. Patrick Mulligan, M.D.

As I am not a morning person, my husband and I never talk at breakfast. But after your article about smiling, I surprised him the next day. When I came into the dining alcove where he was having breakfast, I gave him a big smile with a “Good morning, dear.” He was so startled that he spilled coffee down the front of his shirt. Mary Collins

I was very much impressed with your account of Juanita Caldwell, the Baptist “Mother Teresa” in the nursing home. What a fantastic person! Nicholas Granson

 Chuckle time

Correcting his housekeeper for referring to the dining room table in the rectory as “your table”, the priest said, “No, I own nothing here. Everything in the rectory belongs to the parishioners, of which you are one. Therefore, you should have called it “our table”. The next week when the priest was meeting in the rectory living room with the ladies of the Sodality, they heard a shriek from upstairs. The housekeeper shouted, “There is a mouse under our bed!”

Special Intentions List

As you pray with a broad brush, please include these loved ones, who have been submitted by our readers. You, too, are invited to send me names of your special persons who are in need of prayer.

My address is joyfulcatholic@comcast.net.

They will be on the list for 60 days. At the end of that time, if prayers are still needed, you merely have to renew the name.

 Juanita Caldwell, Isola Todd, David Abbey, Amie Ellis, Linwood “Skip” Williams, Gerry Paradiso, Tom Medved, Eileen Grotsky, Roseanne Somlock, Nicholas Gallagher, Tom Lewis, Donald Whitcomb, Violeta Zepeda, John Aylor, Rev. Joseph Marini, Enrique Portillo, Sharon McPike, Tom Ryan, Joseph Normile, Jim Quimby, Russell Edwards, Gertrude Goldstein, Rev. Stephen Huffstetter, Hugh Cannon, Eric Moore, Joan Barrett, 8-year-old Michael Fotta and his parents, Lolita Alvarez, Camilus Musselman, Jack Conner, Ed Block, Isobel Milligan, Peter Bartkiewiez and his family, Joe Toles, Grace Toomey, Camilus Musselman, Robert Earll.

Trappist Father Mark- As you note, because of miraculous healings, several names have been deleted and added to our Deo Gratias list.

Buddhists, Jews, Zionists and us Catholics

 

We do indeed need to show joy as Catholics.   My motto — “Be happily and uncomplicatedly Catholic.”

Michael J. Sheehan, Archbishop of Santa Fe

Buddhists, Jews, Zionists and us Catholics.

 When we learn from other religions, I think it strengthens our faith. When I made a two-week Buddhist retreat in Japan, I learned of their appreciation of nature, the treasure of a meditation garden and the desire to be one with the Supreme Being. But I saw no Buddhist orphanages, hospitals or facilities for caring for the poor. I returned home a better Catholic.

I had an aged Jewish client, who confided at lunch one day, “I am Jewish throughout. When I read the list of victims from a catastrophe, I am indifferent until I see a Jewish name—then I cry.” I said, “If a gunman entered the restaurant and said he would kill all but ten people and you were to select the ten, whom would you pick?” “All Jews,” he replied. “But what is the ten Jews were all in their late 90s? “I’d still pick the Jews,” he quickly replied. Upon later reflection, I admired his loyalty, even though it was limited to one breed of humans.

Recently I renewed friendship with a Zionist friend who spoke only about his several trips a year to Israel, his working on a commission to improve the Israeli reputation at the United Nations, relief funds for Jewish refugees, and the importance of the powerful Jewish lobby in Congress. I asked him, “If American were in conflict with Israel, as an American citizen which country would you support.” He quickly side-stepped an answer with, “That will never happen.” I had to acknowledge his devotion to a single and very limited cause. And it made me appreciate with pride the word “catholic” which defines the scope of my Catholicism.

My Zionist friend turned the light on my joy in having a faith that is concerned about all of God’s people, regardless of their identity or locale. Hurrah for the openness and all-inclusiveness of our Catholicism!

Other religions, thank you for waking me up to the ecstasy of being a Joyful Catholic! (what are thoughts about other religions? Let me hear from you! joyfulcatholic@comcast.net)

Other recommended Catholic blogs

The  Anchoress

Being Frank

Divorced Catholic Moms

Recommended readingsThe Week May 14 issue has two interesting article. One points out that in during the first decade of this century, the number of Catholic has increased 12%.

The other is about kooks Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens, who are planning to arrest the Pope when he visits Britain in September for “crimes against humanity.” (Comment: fellows, you don’t have much to do, do you?)

 The article on population growth in the May-June Mother Jones should be required reading for our top church leaders in their lofty site in the stratosphere, out-of-sight of reality.

 

 

 

 

 Quiz Results

Last week, the winner of the autographed gift copy of Light Reading for Good and Wayward Catholics, is Mildred Andrews, Key West. FL The correct answers are:

1. Peter, James and John were the three apostles Jesus chose to go to the mountain top and experience the Transformation.

2. The Swiss Guards have been serving the Pope for over 500 years, beginning in 1506.

 3. St. Joseph of Arimathea is the patron saint of undertakers. _________________________________________________________

Here is this week’s quizWho will be the book winner? 

1.     Who is responsible for electing the new Pope?   

2.      What was the period of the Crusades?   

3.     Who wrote, “All the efforts of the human mind cannot exhaust the essence of a single fly”?   

 

 

Send your answers to joyfulcatholic@comcast.net 

News Flashes 

 Catholic World News reported that in the seven years since the Iraq War was launched, 2,000 Christians have been murdered and 600,000 have fled Iraq. (Fellow Americans, don’t forget who initiated this war.)

 The ultra-conservative Bishop Fabian Bruskewitz in Lincoln, Nebraska, celebrated his 75th birthday. He has done a splendid job in recruiting new seminarians, but in regard to the role of women in the church, he is as old-fashioned as knickers. He is the only bishop in the US to insist on having only male servers at Mass. Two generations from now, the old fellow will be spinning in his grave when we finally have female deacons.

 George Neumayr, editor of The Catholic Report, wrote “The Church should fight back not by defending the indefensible or hatching some contrived PR campaign, but by restoring holiness and orthodoxy to the priesthood, which is the one authentic reform that these self-appointed reformers of the Church most fear.” (comment: to this, I say “Amen!”) – The May Atlantic has a full-page ad by The Teaching Company for recordings on “Explore the History of Buddhism.” Wouldn’t it be great is they had one for “Explore the Roman Catholic Church.”

“Be happily and uncomplicatedly Catholic.”

 

We do indeed need to show joy as Catholics.  

My motto — “Be happily and uncomplicatedly Catholic.”

Michael J Sheehan

Archbishop of Santa Fe

 

My favorite priest, layperson, breathing saint or organization

 Rev. Antony Pulikal, OCD is sincere, genuine, open and honest about his feeling and lets you know where he stands.  He behaves in a very devout and holy-like manner and is very serious in his duties as a priest. Yet, at the same time, he is able to combine his love for the Church with a great sense of humor that helps all of us to understand him better.  At time, he and Father Kevin poke fun at each other and let us all in on the joke.

          They are both young but teach us of all ages new things all the time. They interpret each Sunday’s gospel and craft the message into a memorable, easily understood homily that makes sense in Jesus’ time and in 2010, too. As we drive home, we talk abut what we learned that Sunday.

(Father Pulikal is a priest at Holy Spirit Catholic Church in Lantana, Florida)

(This recommendation was sent by one of his parishioners, Doris Wyckoff)

Who is your favorite priest, layperson, breathing saint or organization you want to tell me about? joyfulcatholic@comcast.net

 

Interesting sayings

Remain in my love.  It you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy might be in you and your joy might be complete. 

Jesus

Those who believe in Christ must all traverse their labors on behalf of virtue and endure their temptations, without shame – rather, in fact, with joy of heart and with rejoicing.

Saint Symeon The New Theologian, A spiritual master and monk in Constantinople who died in 1022.

 To me, Jesus is the Life I want to live, the Light I want to reflect, the Way to the Father, the Love I want to express, the joy I want to share.

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

 

 

Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5000 Gideon Bibles.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Communiqués 

Many thanks for introducing me to the “10 Wow’s” concept. I find it is my new means of saying “Thanks!” to God for many blessings I had been taking for granted.

Elena Tems

 It may be OK for some folks, but when I get up in the morning to go the bathroom, I have only one thought in mind – to get there in hurry- , and I don’t have time to think of anything else.

Roscoe  Cummings

I know Father Bowers whom you wrote about in your News Flashes, and he is a splendid joyful Catholic.  If you get to Boston, I would like to take you down to meet him.      

Patrick O’Sullivan

(comment: Thank you, Patrick.  One day I hope to take you up on your offer

                                                Chuckle time

 

At his farewell dinner when young Father Moran was leaving for another parish, he shocked the parishioners by saying, “This is the happiest moment of my life, other than the times I lay in the arms of another man’s wife.”

After the gasps had died down, he smiled and said, “Of course, I am referring to my mother.”

Three months later when the senile in-resident monsignor was moving to a retirement home, at his farewell dinner he recalled the success of the young priest’s remarks, and he repeated, “This is the happiest moment of my life, other than the times I lay in the arms of another man’s wife.”

          After a long shocked silence, he smiled and said, “Of course, I am referring to Father Moran’s mother.”

Special Intentions List

 

 As you pray with a broad brush, please include these loved ones, who have been submitted by our readers. You, too, are invited to send me names of your special persons who are in need of prayer.  My address is joyfulcatholic@comcast.net. They will be on the list for 60 days. At the end of that time, if prayers are still needed, you merely have to renew the name.

Juanita Caldwell, Isola Todd, David Abbey, Amie Ellis,

Linwood “Skip” Williams, Gerry Paradiso, Tom Medved, Eileen Grotsky, Roseanne Somlock, Nicholas Gallagher, Tom Lewis, Donald Whitcomb, Violeta Zepeda, John Aylor, Rev. Joseph Marini, Enrique Portillo,

 Sharon McPike, Tom Ryan, Joseph Normile, Jim Quimby, Russell Edwards,

Gertrude Goldstein, Rev. Stephen Huffstetter, Hugh Cannon, Eric Moore, Joan Barrett, 8-year-old Michael Fotta and his parents, Lolita Alvarez, Camilus Musselman, Jack Conner, Ed Block, Isobel Milligan,

Peter Bartkiewiez and his family, Joe Toles, Grace Toomey,

Camilus Musselman, Robert Earll

As you note, because of miraculous healings, several names have been deleted and added to our Deo Gratias list.

Be happily and Uncomplicatedly Catholic!

We do indeed need to show joy as Catholics.   My motto — “Be happily and uncomplicatedly Catholic.”

Michael J Sheehan, Archbishop of Santa Fe

Quiz

Last week, the two winners of the autographed gift copy of Light Reading for Good and Wayward Catholics, who clocked in at approximately the same time on May 13 are Kim Swaner in Plainfield, IN, and Art Zoleta in Norwalk, CA.  

The correct answers are:

1.      After the Resurrection, it was Philip who met and converted the Ethiopian eunuch on the desert route to Gaza?

    2.  The years of Vatican II were 1962-65.

3.     The seven sacraments of the Church are Baptism, Penance, Holy Eucharist, Confirmation, Matrimony, Holy Orders, the Anointing of the Sick.

 

 

Here is this week’s quiz.  Who will be the book winner?

1.     Who were the three apostles Jesus chose to go to the mountain top and experience the Transformation?  

2.     For how many years have the Pontifical Swiss Guards been serving at the Vatican?  

3.     Who is the patron saint of undertakers?

 

 

Send your answers to joyfulcatholic@comcast.net

 

News flashes

 – On May 1, after a thorough examination of the Legionaries of Christ and the Regum Christi movement, the Pope stated that they will not be left alone as they struggle in their path of purification. (Even though the founder, Father Degollado, has turned out to be a rotten bastard, it is good to know that the good work of his followers will continue.)

–  Recently appointed Illinois bishop Thomas Paprocki was accused of claiming the clerical abuse lawsuits were the act of the devil. He clarified his statement saying, “It is the sins of priests and bishops who succumbed to the temptations of the devil.”

(It’s good that he clarified his statement. We don’t need a Pat Robertson in the Catholic Church)

–  Formerly a parish priest, Rev. Robert Bowers is working from the Paulist Center in Boston to help reconcile Catholic to the Archdiocese of Boston which is facing reduced attendance, 120 million in legal bills and the closing of 60 parishes. He says that in determining who is a good Catholic there no longer has a litmus test. He is trying to “help people deal with conflict better, help them to realize that forgiveness sets them free and that letting go can make them whole again.”

 

My new blog friend

Mark P. Shea, who has the Catholic and Enjoying It blog, is an amazing fellow. He describes himself as a double-jump convert, raised more or less as an agnostic pagan, became a non-denominational Evangelical in 1979, and a Catholic in 1987. He is a popular speaker and also serves as Senior Content Editor at Catholic Exchange. I congratulate you, Mark, because you are a positive force in our Catholic world.